I Have No Friends

   "No friends. No friends. I have no friends."

   These are the lyrics to one of the masterpieces written by my brother, Alaric. We were in high school. He invited his friends to come over that night and every single one of them was late. Even though it led to a depressing song, I was grateful because we laughed for hours about it. In fact, Alaric and I still smile when we think of that song. 

   That memory always brings a dose of sunshine to the moments I feel like I have no friends (yep, I have those some times). It makes me smile when I've moved to a new place and I have no one to sit with at church. Or when I have no plans on a Friday night. 

   Maybe I'm just crazy but I think other people have those moments they feel friendless. 

   Recently though I realized my problem is I don't necessarily feel friendless — I feel like I'm not measuring up to the number of friends I should have or the number of new friends I should be making.

   Earlier this week I had an experience that changed my perspective. My brother, Sean, asked me to edit a eulogy he was going to give at the funeral of one of his best friends. 

   As I read these words, truth entered my soul.

   "Karina was a very special friend to me, the type that only comes around a handful of times in a lifetime. As I’ve been thinking about it, the fact that friends as amazing as Karina are so rare is probably by design. You don’t need many friends like that when you can savor such a rich friendship."

   You don't need many friends like that when you can savor such a rich friendship.

   Wow.

   This caused me to pause. I looked back on every time I had sung Alaric's "No Friends" jingle and realized I had measured my success in the world of friends the wrong way all along.

   See, I feel like I have friends when I have plans every night in a week. I feel like I have friends when I host a party and have more people than can fit in my living room — even if I don't know half of them. I feel like I have friends when I have more text messages than I can respond to.

   Man, was I wrong.

   I've measured friends in quantity instead of in quality. 

   I literally have the best friends.

   Seriously though. There are over a dozen people in my life that I say label "one of my best friends."

   I'm so blessed with rich friendships. 

   So when I get discouraged that I'm not making new friends, I can't help but think it's because of the incredible standard created by the people in my life. 

  I'm lucky.